Time Tunnel

As I sit here listening to my Electric Light Orchestra collection I'm reminded of the fluidity of time. I can see myself in the living room of the house I had in Calgary, Alberta, as this played on my record player. I can see the golden hue of the wood floors and suddenly all the military housing I ever lived in gets jumbled up, leaving me uncertain as to which province goes with which house I was living in at the time. Time. I match the rugs and furniture in my memories to the house I was probably living in. The brown and white plaid couch and beige rug means we were living in Calgary. It was a time before children - BC - back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. My memories of the young children years are so rich with detail, warmth and emotion, but I can honestly say that that time feels like it must have happened to someone else. Could I have actually survived those years of turmoil, uncertainty and being constantly uproated?

Images of my now-grown children flash behind my eyes; in the blink of an eye I am transported through a time tunnel to a specific moment in time. I can remember what I was wearing, how sticky the kitchen table felt as I ate dinner with my kids, totally accepting of the fact that for the most part it was me and my children for quite a bit of my 20 year marriage. My husband was either on an exercise or training. During the four years we lived in Winnipeg, I think my husband was at home for a total of 11 months; very few of those months were consecutive. When I think of it now I truly find it amazing that my children and I got through it all with our sense of humour intact. And while my marriage didn't survive, my children grew into a fine young man and two gorgeous women. I often wonder where Candice would be right now had she not committed suicide.

My oldest is just back from a trip in Vancouver. She dropped by her brother's place and spent an hour with him and his wife. They are now the proud parents of three children, all under the age of 4! The twins were born January 9. It's funny; their oldest child was born on day after my father's birthday and the twins were born 10 days before my mother's birthday. I think about the stresses of having two young children only 19 months apart and wish my son and his wife all the patience, strength and love as they find their way through the time tunnel to the point where they can look back and marvel at their surviving the young children years.